All's fair in love and war ⚖️❤️⚔️

Meaning

In situations of intense competition or romance, any tactic, even questionable ones, is acceptable to achieve victory or win someone over.

Origin

This timeless adage suggests that the stakes in love and war are so high that conventional rules of conduct no longer apply. While its exact origin is murky, the sentiment echoes ancient thoughts on conflict and courtship. It gained popular traction in the 17th century, appearing in various forms in literature, cementing the idea that in these ultimate contests, desperation and passion can justify unconventional means. Whether you're strategizing a military campaign or wooing a potential partner, the rules of polite society are often suspended when the prize is paramount.

💖 love 🪖 military 🎭🤥 deception ☠️ risk 🏆 success

All's fair in love and war represented with emoji⚖️❤️⚔️

This playful arrangement of emoji functions as a witty mnemonic, teaching the viewer that the scales of justice ⚖️, the heart 💔, and the clash of swords ⚔️ can all converge to illustrate the adage that "all's fair in love and war." Note how the juxtaposition of these disparate symbols underscores the inherent chaos and emotional intensity that can accompany romantic pursuits and rivalries.

Examples

  • He spread a few harmless rumors about his rival's questionable taste in hats, figuring all's fair in love and war when trying to win her affection.
  • She "accidentally" spilled a tiny bit of glitter on her competitor's presentation notes just before the big pitch; after all, all's fair in love and war.
  • The knight "borrowed" the dragon's favorite shiny pebble, knowing that all's fair in love and war when you're trying to get a princess to notice you.
  • The mischievous wizard enchanted the baker's prize-winning pie to temporarily taste like broccoli, because he believed all's fair in love and war when vying for the annual village bake-off trophy.

Frequently asked questions

Is "All's fair in love and war" a proverb or an idiom?

The phrase "All's fair in love and war" is generally considered a proverb. Proverbs are short, well-known sayings that state a general truth or piece of advice, which perfectly describes this phrase's function.

What's the opposite of "All's fair in love and war"?

The opposite of "All's fair in love and war" would be a sentiment emphasizing strict adherence to rules and fair play, such as "honor among thieves" or the idea that ethical conduct is always paramount, even in competition.

Who first said "All's fair in love and war"?

The exact first person to say "All's fair in love and war" is unknown, but variations of the sentiment appear in ancient texts, with the phrase gaining widespread popularity in English literature around the 17th century.

Does "All's fair in love and war" mean morally wrong actions are acceptable?

While "All's fair in love and war" suggests suspending usual rules, it doesn't necessarily endorse actions that are universally considered morally wrong; rather, it implies that methods outside the norm might be employed when the stakes are high.

Similar to "All's fair in love and war"

The gloves are off
Both phrases signal that the usual rules of engagement are being suspended, but 'The gloves are off' has a more immediate, combative feel, like a fight has just begun or escalated dramatically
In for a penny, in for a pound
Both phrases endorse a commitment to a course of action, no matter the risks, but 'In for a penny, in for a pound' is about full dedication to a venture, while love and war allow for a broader sense of ethical leeway
Survival of the fittest
This phrase shares the competitive spirit of 'All's fair,' but it's rooted in evolutionary biology, focusing on adaptation and natural selection rather than human strategies in romance or conflict

Opposite of "All's fair in love and war"

With malice toward none; with charity for all
This phrase argues for compassion and good faith, directly contradicting the 'anything goes' mentality of 'All's fair in love and war' by advocating for unity and understanding even after conflict
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
This is the Golden Rule, a timeless ethical guideline that suggests treating others with the same consideration you'd expect, which is a stark contrast to the strategic, potentially ruthless approach implied by 'All's fair in love and war.'

Related to "All's fair in love and war"

All's fair in love and war
This is a direct quote from John Lyly's 'Euphues and the Complaint of Philomene' (1578), grounding the saying in Elizabethan literature and its exploration of human passions and conflicts
The game is afoot
This phrase, famously from Shakespeare, signals the start of an exciting pursuit or challenge, much like love or war, but it carries more of an adventurous, almost playful, anticipation
What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander
This proverb suggests that the same rules or judgments should apply to everyone in a similar situation, which can be invoked critically against the selective fairness of 'All's fair in love and war'
End justifies the means
This Machiavellian principle shares a common ground with 'All's fair,' as both condone potentially unethical actions if they lead to a desired outcome