Hold a grudge against someone ✊😠

Meaning

To continue to feel angry or resentful towards someone for a past offense.

Origin

The imagery of 'holding' a grudge suggests a physical act of clutching something, like a weapon or a painful memory, to oneself. It implies a deliberate decision to keep that negative feeling close, rather than letting it go. This visceral metaphor likely developed in early modern English, where concepts of 'holding' were often tied to possession and ownership. To 'hold' something in this context wasn't just about possessing it, but about actively keeping it, perhaps like a valuable but dangerous possession. The idea is that the grudge is actively maintained, a conscious refusal to forgive or forget, ensuring the hurt remains fresh and potent.

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Hold a grudge against someone represented with emoji✊😠

This playful juxtaposition of a raised fist and an angry face functions as a vibrant shorthand for the enduring human experience of holding a grudge. It underscores the potent and at times whimsical power of symbols to convey complex emotions, inviting us to consider the enduring resonance of this particular sentiment in our digital lexicon.

Examples

  • She's still holding a grudge against him for that comment he made years ago.
  • I don't want to hold a grudge against my neighbor, but he really did damage my prize-winning petunias.
  • The grumpy old gnome continued to hold a grudge against the squirrel who stole his lucky acorn.
  • Even after all this time, the dragon held a grudge against the knight who tickled its nose with a feather.

Frequently asked questions

Is it possible to stop holding a grudge against someone unintentionally?

While unconsciously letting go is rare, the act of holding a grudge is usually a conscious decision, meaning you can also consciously choose to release it. The phrase implies an active, deliberate keeping of resentment, not a passive state.

What is the opposite of holding a grudge against someone?

The opposite of holding a grudge against someone is forgiveness or letting go. These actions involve consciously releasing resentment and moving past a past offense, rather than actively maintaining negative feelings.

Is holding a grudge against someone a sign of strength or weakness?

Figuratively, holding a grudge is often seen as a weakness, as it implies being burdened by past negativity and unable to move forward. True strength is often associated with the ability to forgive and release such feelings.

Can holding a grudge against someone be beneficial in any situation?

While typically detrimental, some might argue maintaining resentment could serve as a protective mechanism, deterring future harm from the same person. However, this often comes at a significant personal cost to emotional well-being.

Similar to "hold a grudge against someone"

Nurse a grievance
Both phrases capture festering resentment, but 'nurse a grievance' sounds more like a conscious, almost affectionate tending to one's hurt, whereas 'hold a grudge' is a plainer, more direct statement of sustained anger
Have it in for someone
This phrase implies a more active, perhaps even malicious, intent behind the bad feelings, going beyond the passive, lingering resentment of 'hold a grudge' to suggest a desire to cause harm
Carry a chip on one's shoulder
Both involve past offenses fueling present negativity, but 'carry a chip on one's shoulder' suggests a readiness to take offense and perceived injustice, often leading to defensiveness, while 'hold a grudge' is more about sustained, directed anger towards a specific party

Opposite of "hold a grudge against someone"

Let bygones be bygones
This argues for a complete release of past hurts, suggesting that holding onto grudges is unproductive and that a fresh start is the wiser, more freeing path
Forgive and forget
This advocates for a double act of mercy, directly challenging the spirit of holding onto resentment by insisting on both pardoning the offense and erasing the memory, implying that harboring anger is a form of self-imprisonment

Related to "hold a grudge against someone"

Settle a score
While 'holding a grudge' is about the internal feeling of resentment, 'settling a score' is the active pursuit of revenge that often stems from that feeling
Bury the hatchet
This phrase describes the action of ending a feud or dispute, the very opposite of the ongoing state represented by 'holding a grudge'
Turn the other cheek
This biblical concept proposes a response of passive resistance and non-retaliation to injury, directly contrasting with the active, lingering resentment implied in 'holding a grudge'
Keep an account of wrongs
This vivid image highlights the meticulous, often obsessive, way someone might track perceived injustices, suggesting the active maintenance required to 'hold a grudge'